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Poor Mom simply could not take anymore. I felt so badly for her. I wanted her to leave, but lived in fear that she might. If she left, which she could do, I was so screwed. I didn't even want to think about it. When we stopped getting any sympathy from the girls, and they seemed amused by our predicament, that was when I felt the walls closing in and began thinking about dialing 911 and just crying, "HELP US!"We talked about it a great deal, but we could not bring ourselves to admit failing that badly, or face the humiliation that would come with exposure. If anyone ever knew what filth we allowed to remain in our home, or what we allowed those girls to suffer, we knew we would be called before a jury of our peers and be roasted alive. We didn't think anyone would understand, but they don't know John. He does have powers. He simply can't be stopped, or swayed, or threatened. He loved the punishments. He wanted to be grounded. The home was tittieville. Pussyville, too, I should. Okay, my dreams had always been a little unusual. That was the reason I wanted to get into psychology and why I had wanted to talk to Mr. Shelby. For one thing, I never have nightmares, at least nothing like what other people talked about. I almost always have dreams in the 'first person' sense. Meaning I saw them as if I were living the scene. That's not unusual in itself. Many people dream this way. What was unusual was that in 'first person' I have control. It didn't matter what was happening. If I didn't like something, it changed. Do you fly in your dreams? I do, a lot. So naturally I never fall off of tall buildings, down wells, over cliffs, nothing like that. I always see me as myself, not as some heroic figure or anything like that, but in my dreams I have always been the absolute master. Kind of like Keanu Reeves as Neo in 'The Matrix, ' only in a different way. Sometimes I seem to be in 'invisible' mode, where I am an observer. I see myself in different situations and.
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